Are You Called? (A Wife’s Perspective)


When I was a senior in high school, I went to a leadership conference at the college I would later attend many years ago. During that conference, I remember learning about leading. I do not remember all the things taught, but I do remember God placed the call to ministry in my heart. I knew at some point God wanted me to be in ministry either alone or with a future spouse.

In past churches, and even at one of the somewhat recent churches, when I mentioned that I was “called” to ministry (specifically to lead beside my husband), I would have many looks at me like I was weird, crazy  It would be considered odd to think I was called to ministry as a wife  It is a blessing to now be at a church where that calling is accepted and appreciated.   This may not, however, be your case. 

Let me give you some perspective… 


No, you are not crazy to be called to serve with your husband. One of the most significant benefits of your husband’s ministry is serving beside him. With you serving in the ministry, you can serve the girls and female leaders, meeting their needs better sometimes than your husband can.

You might be gifted with talents like hospitality or creativeness that make up for your husband’s weakness and benefit his ministry. If your husband understands you well, he will see the talents you bring and find places that will help you flourish in the ministry. You are not crazy, but you also might help keep your busy husband sane? 


2 Corinthian 3:4-5, “Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.”

Be confident in the calling that God has gifted to you. He will use it for his glory. There will be days when people want to make you doubt that you can be called, but God has placed you where He wants you to use your talents alongside your husband. There will be seasons of life (*like when you have babies) that this is not as easy but know this is just a season with continued confidence you are still called.


As I mentioned above, we have faced some in leadership in the past that couldn’t understand how or why I could consider myself called into ministry. We have even faced outright opposition, but we continued doing ministry the way we felt God was leading us. Every time we did, God blessed us. We knew that because we were both onboard and serving, it would all work out for us and God’s glory, and it was. A few years ago, we continued from a place where my calling was not embraced to now be in places where this is championed. We have seen that continuing in my calling in confidence has brought us a new closeness!


Lastly, we have learned that serving together brings closeness. My husband and I were on a missions trip co-leading teens when we both realized that our friendship was more than friendship and that we truly loved each other…the rest is history!

All my life in the church, the people that influenced me most were couples serving side-by-side. My husband and I often see youth ministry guys serving without their wives. We understand there are seasons and different callings, but we realize it makes a substantial difference when you do serve beside your husband.  Why wouldn’t you serve together? We share every other part of life. Why not serve at church together? Our students benefit from seeing married people love with God’s love pouring into their lives. They may not be seeing it anywhere else.

SO, my fellow youth ministry wives…Are you called? If so, you are NOT crazy, so be confident, continue and seek the closeness with your husband that doing life together in ministry can bring!

Melissa Istvanik has served beside her husband for 20+ years. She is currently a first-grade teacher at a local Christian school just outside of Chicago and continues to be an active leader of her husband’s chu h. She is a mom of two teenage s. She has written and spoken about being a ministry wife nationally. She has also been a mentor for many years with Leading and Loving t. She continues to be a voice and coach for ministry wives in her local area and beyond.